Unsung Heroes

It happens every year.

And for the life of me, I just can’t figure out why.  Whenever they come out with the Top Ten Most Dangerous Jobs List every year, it always leaves me wondering who “they” actually are and what type of qualifications “they” possess to come up with the list in the first place.

They certainly haven’t stared down fear as they look into their own tired eyes through the bathroom mirror while cleaning their kid’s projectile vomit from their face, arms, and legs, knowing it will be a mere 24 hours before they’ll be right back in the bathroom, but this time laying on the cool tile floor, sick as a dog, in between the toilet and the sink.

Have they ever changed a diaper on a freeway or ripped open 17 juice boxes and served 40 snacks from the front seat without a seatbelt, extra napkins, or a "thank you" and a "please"?

Have they ever been hit in the head with baseball, a Frisbee, a half-dressed Polly Pocket doll, and a fat piece of orange sidewalk chalk- all at the same time-simply trying to navigate their way, in peace, from the driveway to the mailbox for their People magazine?

No.  I don’t think so.  If they had, motherhood would make the Top Ten List every stinking time.

What I do find fascinating about these lists y’all, (besides whoever makes them probably sits around and watches "Deadliest Catch" and "Ice Road Truckers all day"), is how a mother’s job title fits into every single one of these dangerous occupations. It’s actually uncanny. 

Let’s take a look at a few shall we:

Garbage Collector: 

It’s true if your job is to hang off the back of a three ton truck barreling down the road at 60 mph; it’s probably pretty dicey wondering if you’ll fall off and all.  But if you’ve ever emptied a stuffed dirty diaper bail on a empty stomach and 3 hours sleep, chances are greater or at least equal to fainting, then tumbling down the stairs, and hitting your head on a remote control airplane than plummeting of a garbage truck and into the street.

Wild Animal Tamer:

No one wants to tussle with a hungry crocodile; I’ll be the first to admit that.  But y’all can’t tell me wrestling a fifty pound, over-sugared, over-tired toddler out of the pool at lunch time doesn’t require a lot of skill.  Please.  Not to mention, I have seen moms do it with a baby on their hip, designer sunglasses a top their head, and a full glass of iced tea in their hand- without even one spill. 

Truck Drivers/Taxi Drivers/Chauffeurs:

This one to me is a no brainer.  Especially, since we SHARE the same roads with them anyways.  But truck driver’s, well, they’re  cruising solo, for MONEY, in the safety of an air-conditioned cab way up high out of reach of paper airplanes and empty goldfish pouches.  And if they’re taxi drivers or chauffeurs, they have the privilege of rolling up the window partition thingy that separates them from their passengers or can at least kick them out for being rude and yelling at the top of their lungs “please, pull over, I have to PEE! PEE!  PEE!” or “Stop touching me!” over and over and over again while you just trying to make it a few miles down the street.

Fisherman:

I have no doubt that’s a scary job, being out on a small boat in the middle of a vast sea.  But how about being alone with a pre-teen or teenager after school sitting around the kitchen table?

Mom: How was your day?

Kid: Good

Mom: What did you do in school?

Kid: Nothing

Mom: So how did you do on the science test?

Kid: Can we stop talking now.  It’s exhausting and "Deadliest Catch" is on.

I know fisherman put their lives in danger every day so we can eat, but at least they get something on their line every now and then.  mom’s fish all day, every day, and rarely reel in anything but an empty table five minutes after dinnertime, a stack of dirty dishes, and eight loads of smelly laundry.

 So, now do you see what I’m talking about?  Being a mother is one of the toughest, thankless, most mind boggling and exhausting occupations out there.

Moms are the unsung heroes, the battered and the bruised, the very ones who take a licking and keep on kicking.  They are the soldiers that keep marching on.

But if you ask anyone of them, they’d probably all tell you the same thing.  They wouldn’t trade their job for anything in the world.

Happy Moms Day, ladies!  I know it’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.  Actually, literally, the whole world does, or we would cease to exist as a species………

So pamper yourself every once and awhile and keep on, keeping on. 

See you in the trenches.

Southern Summer Memories...on a Stick

                                 previously published April 25, 2012 for www.thesouthernc.com


"You're dripping," I tell my daughter, as I open the back door and shoo her outside to the porch.  I smile at the nostalgia of the words from my childhood, not necessarily the drops of sugared popsicle that now dot my hardwoods from the kitchen to the den and back again. 

Yes, summer is almost officially here, in all its bug biting, sweat sopping glory. Why do we get so excited about the three hottest months of the year when our hair tends to frizz, our clothes like to stick, and the mosquitoes love to nip at our skin? 

Maybe because summer simply reminds us of our youth; that special part of the year that couldn’t come fast enough, when time slowed down, little things mattered, and nothing was more fun than riding your bike up and down the street.

Not to mention, who doesn’t love lightening bugs in jars, bare feet, the slam of a screen door, and ice cold popsicles melting down your arm before you can finish them.

These are the days summer's made of.

So if you are trying to beat the heat this summer go ahead and make something that is sticky sweet and fun to eat.  You may never be ten again, but there will always be a reason and a season to act like it.

Lavender Lemonade Popsicles

Now, we all know a watched pot never boils, and neither does a watched pot filled with:

      A gallon of water
      A vanilla bean
      6-8 sprigs of lavender
      3 cups of sugar
      2 cups fresh lemon juice
      ½ cup orange juice

Bring all of these ingredients together in a pot and start the boil. Go ahead and do whatever you do while you’re hanging out in your kitchen, like reorganizing your junk drawer, rinsing and labeling your fruits and veggies, or standing in tree pose, like me, over the stove flipping through a People magazine.  Whatever you do though, don’t venture too far because as soon as it does boil, it won’t take long before “thy cup runneth over”, if you know what I mean.  Here is the part when you turn off the heat, let it cool on the stove to room temperature, and then take out the bean and strain the plant matter because no one really wants to wear that in their teeth.

Once your lemonade has cooled, it’s time to pour the mixture into a popsicle mold or if you don’t have one there is nothing wrong with going old school.  It actually makes them taste better.  Just pour the lemonade into a small paper or plastic cup, cover with aluminum foil, then stick a spoon or a popsicle stick down the middle and freeze for four hours or until hard.  You can always run a little warm water on the cups to loosen the popsicle so it pops right out.

Now, here is the very special part for the 21 and over crowd.  You can always use the mixture to make Lavender Lemonade Martinis.  Mix two parts lemonade and one part vodka over ice in a cocktail shaker.  Drain from ice into a sugar rimmed martini glass and enjoy! Cheers to summer! Hurry on up and get here!

***Join THE southern social network site and brainchild of Cheri Leavy and Whitney Long, by visiting www.thesouthernc.com and sign up to receive their weekly newsletter hightlighting all the things we love about the South.  You will find me there as a regular contributing writer so look out May 9th for a new piece connecting stories with food, called Strawberry Pickin' and BBQ Chicken.