My Animal House

It’s official. This month marks the one-year anniversary that I became one cat away from being called, “that crazy cat lady who lives down the street.”
To celebrate our newest cat’s “surprise” birthday party, the girls are already hard at work planning the three tiered tuna cake with whipped “cream” frosting and organic liver sprinkles. The invitations have been colored and sent, the presents selected and wrapped. All we have to do now is try to keep it a secret, but that’s kind of hard when the cats don’t have day jobs and the kids keep feeding them all the Tilapia Tasty Treats from the goodie bags.
It’s just not cats that make up what I like to call our “Merry Band of Misfits.” Our dog, Atlas, (well, my dog, Atlas, since I’m the one who feeds, walks, and waters him) brings up the rear and just tries to stay out of their way. I know what y’all are thinking, though: “He’s a dog. Shouldn’t he be the leader of the pack?” Well, you obviously have never met my cats.
So here’s the lowdown on the posse in order of their arrival to the Packard household:

Mirage – Cat - American Shorthair

Mirage is the oldest of the bunch at eight going on eighty. She just might be the orneriest cat to have ever lived and has been known to slap you in your sleep if you take up too much space on “her” pillow. She used to be a little more energetic when we got her at the Humane Society. She also used to have a whole lot more hair. It seems when she was “rescued,” she assumed she’d be going somewhere nice. You know, somewhere peaceful with good food you didn’t have to hunt, and safe place to lay her head and just relax. The minute she took one look at my four and two year-olds standing next to a three story fort of pillows and seat cushions surrounding a plastic princess tea set, the poor cat’s hair starting falling out and it still hasn’t grown back.

Feathers – Cat - American Long Hair

Feathers came home with us from the Humane Society at the same time as Mirage, but unlike her “sibling,” she took to the place like a duck to water. There is no question she rules the roost, but this is really only at night because like the vampires on True Blood (gosh, I’m going to miss y’all till next year!) she’s got to have a “hidey hole” upstairs somewhere because I never ever see her during the day. That is unless it’s to surprise attack the dog and hit him in the head over and over while he eats. Also, unlike Mirage, Feathers has plenty of hair. Trust me. I know some of you might be eating while you read this, so let’s just say her tail is as big as a giant feather duster, hence her name, so she requires monthly “sanitary cuts.” ‘Nuff said.

Atlas – Dog – Rat Terrier/Jack Russell Terrier Mix

Atlas is my main man; a cute little guy with a whole lot of bark. He thinks he’s huge, like a German Shepherd, and I don’t have the heart to tell him otherwise. For instance, he really should squat when he pees since his legs are too short, but he lifts his back leg anyway, only to pee all over the front one. We got him from a group outside of Savannah that rescues dogs from high kill shelters. Despite all the dirty looks and paw punches from his fellow feline roomies, he seems just happy to be here and who could blame him.

Otis - Birthday Boy - Wild Marsh Cat

Otis was found abandoned by his momma on our neighbor’s boat. I don’t know if you know Woody Collins, the neighbor in question, but he’s one of the nicest and most big-hearted people that I know on the island. He brought the kitten home and fed him milk from a teeny bottle until he could eat on his own and gave him a great place to live. Otis was adorable from the start and everyone in the neighborhood fell in love with him. Especially my daughter, Livi, who, like in the cartoons, got shot by Cupid’s bow the minute she laid eyes on him. She’d have him over for sleepovers, bring him leftover chicken casserole, and cuddle with him as soon as the wheels of my Yukon hit our driveway after school.

One day, Otis went missing from the Collins’ house. She wrote the following on a dozen sheets of 9x12 computer paper, in her eight year-old block handwriting;

Lost Kitten Named Otis

Loves to fallow people around and is about the size of this paper

Color: Gray and White

Note: Is not mean just hold him like you would with a baby

Otis is part of our family and we love him. We will love it if you bring him back. Please Report.

Then, with the help of our friend Mr. Gummy Bear, canvassed the entire neighborhood posting her notes on street signs and tree stumps. She posted our contact info at the end and we got a call the very same day. Knowing how distraught Livi had been and how relieved and happy she was now, Woody said it would be all right if Otis stayed over that night. He’s been here ever since.
Otis has grown a lot this year. He’ll even attack you while you sleep and then drink the cream from your coffee the next morning when you’re not looking. But he’s still the same sweetie, just like the rest of our brood, crusty Mirage and all.

I love having them all running around, wreaking havoc, and disturbing our sleep. They make our family feel bigger and more loved without having to worry about paying for their college or keeping them in shoes.
It reminds me that some of the best things in life, like great neighbors, stray animals* and unconditional love, really are free.

*Well, in some cases, small donation not withstanding!